Big Tray Jay
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4/5/2007

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Everything in my life seems to only come in extremes:

  • I either really love or really hate my job 
  • my wife is really nice or really mean
  • my kids are angels or devils
  • I am either really happy or really sad
  • i am either broke or broke as fuck
So i just want some middle ground. I have made several realizations this week, which i do not wish to share here just yet, that i am hoping may make my life a whole lot more middle-of-the-road. in one of those realizations i became aware that i am a mean person… and i don’t try to be… i don’t always take people feelings into consideration, i say mean things and i hold grudges. so in attempts to make some steps towards bettering myself i have decided to STOP holding grudges and being angry towards people. This is not going to be an easy task, but i hope through my wife, children and friends that i can be reminded that living angry is no way to live, b/c if you have anger in your life, that anger controls you and if that anger is towards a person, that person controls you. so i am done. I may still get angry from time to time, thats normal, but i am going to try to not be angry for so long, let it ruin my day/week/month…. and not hold grudges towards the person that made me angry, b/c God knows i have made more that my fair share of people angry and they have, as far as i know, all forgiven me - so i think its only fair, and its about time

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